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Sunday, 21 September 2014

Wedding Anniversary

Last week it was our wedding anniversary. It is 33 years since we married, 35 since we met. We were little more than children back then and we have in many ways grown up together. We don't often buy each other gifts but my husband always gets me flowers. This year it was a stunning bunch of freesias from De Jager. (We have sent these flowers to friends in the past and they are absolutely the best.)

I happened to spot this architectural oddity and bought it for Mr. G. to place in the garden.

We envisage growing something up it next summer, maybe deep blue morning glory or a tiny flowered pink clematis to scramble up and around it.

Occasionally, I wonder who and what I would have been had we not met. Would I have been a writer? Would I have had three auburn haired children? Would I have been happy? A long relationship is bound to have its ups and downs and we have had our fair share. From a logical point of view, it is remarkable that we have survived so long together for, on the surface, we do not have much in common. I was brought up in the country, he in the town. I can be impetuous, he is more measured. I am fairly shy, he is more gregarious. He is a de-clutterer and I have a tendency to hoard. I am impatient and, unless it is something to do with flatpack furniture, he has endless reserves of patience.

On a day to day basis it drives me mad when he throws the newspapers away before I've had the chance to read them or turns out my bedside light when I'm halfway down a page of my book at night. I drive him to distraction with my habit of writing things on scraps of paper and leaving them all over the house and my tendency to blame myself for everything that goes wrong even if it has nothing to do with me.

On the positive side he has introduced me to cricket, a love of rugby and bean gravy (half a tin of baked beans heated up in some gravy - delicious!). I like to think that it is through me he has developed a love of gardening, more of an interest in art and an inclination to read more.

Having him by my side and on my side through thick and thin has made me a very different person to the one I was when we married on that sunny September day so long ago. His encouragement, his belief in me, his love has, I know for sure, made me a better and braver person. Even after all these years I still can't believe my luck that we found each other and he chose to spend his life with me.

And whatever life has thrown at us I think barely a day has gone by when we haven't found something to laugh about. When people are interviewed who have been married for much longer than Mr. G and I, they are often asked the secret of a long and happy marriage. Many of them cite a shared sense of humour. For us being able to laugh together when the world has bombarded us with problems has been a blessing beyond measure.

Thank-you for reading. I hope you have a happy and laughter-filled week ahead.

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